I wonder

Do you ever wonder:
What life would be like
If you could appriciate all the beauty in you life
Life the leaves on the trees, people doing wonderful things, water droplets, snow filled nights.
If you weren't scared of change or getting to know people and letting them in.
That the good things in your life could be viewed as good and you weren't afraid they would be taken away
If you could enjoy eating food and not be afraid of looking the in mirror.
If you could exersice just for feeling good and only have postitive thought
If you woke up one morning without feelings of darkness and fear
If waking up ment you got to enjoy the day
If you weren't afraid of not being good enough and like there were people who loved you
If you could wake up and love your self
Do you ever wonder?
I wonder.
I wish.
I'm so tired.
I wish I didn't have thoughts like "I'm so tired of all this I could just end it"
Sometimes I think I've been sick for so long that it has become more of me that I am of myself.