Discovery

I discovered something today. I was determined to have an extremely low calorie if any at all day. It was going great because I worked all day. Until I got home, my mother decided to force a big plate of tuna helper on me, I got through about half of it and hated myself. My head told me I'd better get rid of it, and if you've been reading my blog for a while you might recall how hard it is for me to make myself vomit. I discovered today a way to make myself vomit and its almost easy, everything can come up. If I stick my fingers quite far back and then slowly move them up it comes up like magic - still with pressure and watering eyes ofcourse. Up came the tuna, then my friends came over, they are usually good about not pressuring me to eat but my one friend who has an eating disorder but is fighting it was there and so I had a strawberry milkshake because it was the only way to get her to have one, and I had my allowable coffee before that and so I slipped into the single bathroom at dq and threw up the shake till i saw coffee coming out. I still don't like the idea of having the food in my body in the first place but if I need to trick people or if I surcome to a binge I can get rid of it.

Unrelated to my eating disorder; I watched a scarryy movie tonight - bad idea.
I also work tomorrow for four hours then not again for 8 days which sucks, my work sucks.