I come back to blogger and the layout is changed *scared of change panic attack*
anyways...
I'm still fat like REALLY ACTUALLY FAT
5foot8 and a bit and 140 pounds as of 3 minutes ago.
I remember being 115 and thinking I was fat. This is fat. I don't wear jeans, I don't wear tank tops. I only wear yoga pants and big shirts. I hide myself.
I try to stay under 800 cals a day. I dance everyday. I walk everyday. I try to work out alot. nothing is working. I'm not losing. I need to do something more.
Life update: besides living fat and hating myself everyday this is what is going on in my life right now.
- waiting on hearing from the Toronto dance programs I auditioned for (they are still undecided on me)
-10 days until a dance show I'm in. 9 dances.
- Working 28 hours a week.
-taking care of 3 majorly depressed friends one of whom is my very best friends it seems I've exaughsted all possible help I can give her. :( but I wont ever give up on her
- sleeping rarely.
- terrible fighting with my mother. she recently chocked me and I cant afford to move out. She makes me feel like I deserve it anyway.
How have you all been?
what I ate toady (today was a fat day)
- skinny vanilla latte
-oat bar
-pop
-chicken burger
-strawberry sunday from work (I work at dairy queen)
the past few days I've only had a 6 inch veggie sub (250cals) everyday. no weight loss.
pictures from recent life
-got my catalage pierced to relieve stress - piercing number 9 I need another one because I cant have an uneven number on my body
<3 You're beautiful
ReplyDeleteYou have the most amazing hair color!
ReplyDelete