I start school in a new city in three days and I haven't lost any of the weight I said I would and I've barley exercised at all so I'm probably more flubbery and fat then I was before the summer.
The summer is always the hardest for me to lose weight because I am always at work or with friends were I eat to please people, a way of saying "hey look I'm all better you have nothing to worry about" even when I still have the same anorexic thoughts but I just look alot fatter thanks to "recovery"
I am also getting a tattoo tomorrow on my wrists that say "Lost in a dying world I reach for something more" its a self harm tattoo and also there to encourage me that even though the world I am in has treated me like shit I have to try to make the best of it and try to succeed. I may not be fully recovered but maybe there will be a day when I am. I wish one morning I could wake up and be perfectly happy with myself and my life but I know that it will probably never happen.
I'm almost all packed up and ready to move and I am excited and sad all at the same time.
I was also thinking about making a university blog/volg so I'll post the link if I do.
I hope everyone reading this has a great day and stays strong because I love each and everyone of you. You guys have saved mylife on more than one occasion. I love you <3
The idea of that tattoo sounds lovely :) And everytime you read it, it will give you hope! One day you WILL wake up happy <3 xx
ReplyDeleteOne day you will. Don't lose hope beautiful girl. Looking forward to hearing how you get on at uni.
ReplyDeleteLove x x x