fact of no importance; I got a new laptop, its pretty. I am offically writing my first post with this new laptop.
There is only 14 days until I move to a whole new bigger city. I'm scared but I'm excited to start a new life. I can be who ever I want to be even though I'm always going to be the same on the inside.
The hard thing about leaving is saying goodbye to the close friends I have here and I hope we don't grow apart.
I don't really know what else to write about. Whats been going on in my life recently you may ask. Well, I've basically just been preparing to start University. I've been trying to convince myself to start vlogging. I've been smoking more. I'm offically in debt because of school. I'm getting a stripper job to make money.
Today all I have been doing is tumblr, youtube and I bought a mini fridge for my dorm room.
Tomorrow I am going out drinking with a few friends and then heading to the local gay bar and omg there is this bar tender I wish I knew if she was gay or not and I wish I had the self confidence to talk to her.|
Losing weight has been on my mind. Suicide has been on my mind. And as usually I'm living in a world of dark thoughts.
I hope I make the dance team.
My thoughts are scattered.
Its almost 5am and I have to be somewhere at 3pm tomorrow. I'm spending the day light hours with one of my best friends. A quick post on her. I fell for her, we conected, we had sex. I can't get over her. She has a boyfriend now and my heart still jumps for her, everything she does is filled with beauty in my eyes. If only she felt the same way. Oh well I will take her as my bestfriend if nothing else just having her in my life is worth it.
I need to sleep but I just can't stop writing and thinking and thinking and writing.
*hugs* x x
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