mental break

I had a mental break today.

I was planning on going to the mall with my friend to find a dress for this party on a weekend and I was getting dressed after my shower and changed my outfit honestly 20 times and by the 20th time I was crying because I hate my body do much. I ended up in yoga pants and a sweater. I was so upset and filled with self hate that I cut - right on my wrist which I've been trying not to do because of dance and fitness. I didn't even end up buying a dress because I hand zero self confidence.
The day didn't even start off well - I woke up to go to school and ended up going downstair put on half my uniform and then just felt this imense dread that I couldn't get myself to do anything except crawl back into bed and stay there until I got myself in a hot bath then to get ready for the mall. -.-'

day = unsuccessful in everything.

I have have have to go to school tomorrow because I am doing the readings for Ash Wednesday unless of course they gave the part to someone else because I wasn't there today.

and I'm just sitting here now smoking and listening to music because I can't sleep.

I hope everyones day was so much better than mine.