This week has been a rollercoster. It has had its super amazing up and really shitty low lows.
What's been good? butterflies and returned butterflies. I haven't felt involved in so long in the butterfly tummy life.
The downs; life events, counselling, exam crunch.
Yesterday and today I couldn't dress myself and I couldn't look in the mirror because I'm so ugly and fat. I was suppose to go to the gym but I got to dizzy to stand.
I'm tired and trying to study, write essays and go to class.
I just want to stay in bed but I can't.
Next monday is going to be super rough, I have a mental health meeting about coping living in residence and to overview my tracking log, I don't want to talk about my breakdowns and self harm that's been noticed, then I have a counseling appointment with my childhood trauma therapist and then I have a major psychology exam which I have to study for. My two main support people will not be there the weekend or the monday; one will be with her boyfriend and one (butterfly girl) will be in New York. Also that monday night after all this shit and probably a few anxiety attacks I have to go to semi formal - so between my appointment and exam I have to get all dolled up and pretty (and its going to be hard because I'm ugly) and then write my exam in my dress, go to the dance alone, wait for butterfly girl to come back and try to make a goodnight.
I'll keep you updates.
Right now I'm learning about language in psych lecture (yes I am in class right now).
Tonnight I won't be sleeping because I NEED to get caught up for studying.
im sorry everything is so stressful. just remember it all be over soon. and maybe drinking tea might help. it normally helps me destress.
ReplyDeletegood luck with your test and appointments. you're beautiful.
stay lovely. <3
Hey. Just wanted to let you know I nominated you for a liebster award!
ReplyDelete