Today was shit. My friend - same height 20 pounds lighter naturally thin was talking about feeling fat and needing to work out so badly. What am I? god-freaking-zilla.It hurts really bad. She is one of the bestest friends I've ever had though - Im just in a rotten mood today
he just makes me feel like a piece of shit like im stupid and worthless how did we ever date - oh ya I love
On a positive note I love being back in dance for the dance.
I want to be 100 pounds - 110 by Christmas - I don't know if I want to make it to Christmas
I have to learn a two minute dance for next thursday for contemporary class and I have to learn it off a kinda crappy recording.
They put me in too easy classes so I had to get my time table changed.
Now I have:
Monday - Modern advanced 8:45 - 10
Tuesday- Contemporary Ballet Open Advanced Intensive 6-8 / Jazz open Advanced Intensive 8-9:45
Wednesday - Classical RID ballet [highest level] tech class - 6:15 - 7:30 / Pointe 7:30 - 8:45
Thursday - Contemporary (lyrical) Open Advanced Intensive 4:30 - 6
I dance four days a week with possible rehearsals fridays. The three days I do have off I need to get a job.
I'm also fasting for the next three days. minus tomorrow nights drinking at a party.
I hope everyone is lovely - I'm still going to post often even if I'm doing it from the dance studio :)
Don't put too much pressure on yourself with dancing and work and what not :( sorry you feel so rubbish about everything but losing weight won't make it better - it'll just make it worse :(
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Reading that makes me half miss dance and half glad I don't really do it anymore. It gets a little to much pressure at times.
ReplyDeleteMy messed up thinking makes me think losing weight will solve things but Lily is right. I guess the logical part of us knows it doesn't help thing but it's a coping mechanism I guess right?
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