running spinning falling

Today I am surprised I got out of bed.
I can't bring myself to smile or anything.
I am going for a run before school today - I am a crap runner but maybe I'll get better.
I have the jitters or some thing - I don't know if its just me or what. It's like I shake or twitch or something. ha. too much caffine maybe.
Last night I must have had a nightmare or I still really hate myself while I sleep because I scratched my neck so bad my nail got fucked - I mean I have weak nails to begin with but holy fuck. - hopefully no one asks me about it.
Also last night I woke up at like 3am because my mom slammed the bathroom door - slamming doors ALWAYS wake me up because when I was younger my mom would always slam her bedroom door as she was leaving it to come and beat me. So I had a panic attack at 3am and to make it worse my mom came into my room to thankfully just yell at me about turning the heat up.

So shit morning. I'm in a rubbish mood. I get coffee for breakfast with a smoke and thats it for the day until soup at dinner.

I have modern tonight thankfully- dance helps.

Speaking of dance - my solo performances at done - but they want to refilm it on a better stage  because the first filming didnt come out like they wanted it to.

and I should have some pics shortly - this is one my friend took of me warming up - I love it.

I am going back to school today - I didn't go much last week so the teacher will probably yell at me today. Strangely I am doing well in the class.

I hope everyone has a smashing day
love sarah xx