oh what to write about today.
I slept a normal human eight hours through the night - thank you organic help me sleep tea! I really need to invest in more of that.
In school, in my one class we watched a CNN documentary about "The Secret County - North Korea" it was honestly really eye opening to the crazyness of that communist country and of course all the video footage they showed was taken on a cell phone that was smuggled in and out - owning a cell phone in North Korea is punishable by death. - anyways sorry for the political lesson xD
Dance was soooo tiring - I had my hardest night tonight - classical ballet was good and all just super strenuous and then pointe was insane - it was an hour and my toe nail half fell off and I had to keep on dancing :P oh the life of a dance.
One more thing that happened to me today - I saw an add posted at school today - Its a place called Hopes Garden - an eating disorder support place - it crossed my mind to go. I don't even know why, I don't want to recover - I'm not ready. but it still crossed my mind - I even looked into times - support meeting and they are free . . . ofcourse its at a time I have dance so I wouldn't go anyway but they do have drop in thingers to get info. and I also learnt that there are barley any actual treatment centers in my city. one only goes up to 17 so I guess Im too old for help there if I ever did want it.
but whatever - I deserve to suffer I think - I'm super discusting.
anyways - today I had oatmeal, chocolate milk, veggies and some flat bread. a pretty good day - no junk food binges.
Tomorrow I am putting my outfit together for a party on friday. and spending sometime with friends after dance.
Today one of my friends said I was looking skinnier- I don't see it. They asked if I was ok. I'm certainly not that skinny - I probably just looked skinny in my baggy sweater since my collar bones stick out.
maybe I'll post a pic tomorrow - let you guys give me some input.
I hope everyone had a great day - also if anyone could recommend some blogs to follow I'd love it :) I love to comment on all you lovelys
xx Sarah - lots of love
I'm glad you were thinking about Hopes Garden. I hope you'll keep seriously consider it & not be afraid to try it out. Know this: you do not deserve to suffer. There is hope & life & joy and those things are for YOU are much as for anyone else! xx
ReplyDeleteYour not disgusting, and you will recover in your own time :) You have to be ready <3 Gosh! your toenail sounds painful! Hope all is well :) xx
ReplyDeleteIf I lived in North Korea, I would be dead by now. I remember saying that t my teacher when we were learning about North Korea.
ReplyDeleteI tend to look into treatment places too though most of them only cater for anorexics with a bmi below 14.5. Kind of ridiculous.
Ooh the toenail! That is one part of dance I do not miss. xx