I hate me
I can't make this utter saddness leave me
I've never be able to
I control it with eating and cutting and anything that makes me feel different
I hate it
I don't know what true happy feels like
I want to die
I'd rather die than continue to feel like this
I'm eighteen and since I little all I can remember is this saddness this darkness in me
Im tired - I'm tired of failed suicide attempts, I'm tired of swimming through life feeling like I'm drowning.
I'm tired of trying to tell my closest friends only to have them shurg it off like its just a phase or like I'm too old to be carrying on with what i have been like my whole life.
I can't take it anymore.
I've never posted a picture of my self harming but here it is - my right arm, tonight, my razor is dying and this is a very mild cutting. Iwant to do more I want to cut more.
also I found this photo today - im the red head in the back. this was me two years ago. about 110
Beautiful girl I just want to hug you and be able to support you through this. Your life is worth living. You are loved and valuable and there is hope & life for you. X x x
ReplyDeleteYour beautiful, please don't cut or do anything to harm yourself, your too precious xx
ReplyDelete